Preparing My Mind for Action

Yesterday was a hard day, mentally. Matthew was working all morning and I was home with the girls.

I’m not sure if it is that I’m adjusting to our new life where Matthew isn’t home as much as he was when he was ill. He was normally in bed all day and I could easily pop in the room whenever I wanted and talk to him.

Now, I’m on my own, in my own mind for hours. Not having active conversation except with my girls which can be rather tedious, at times. Especially with Grace, my three year old daughter, who, I think, is at a developmental age where she is trying to understand speech. What this looks like, is her asking a lot of questions about everything around her including every action I take. She wants to understand ALL that is going on. Which I am grateful for. She is very intelligent and learning rapidly but like I said, it is very tedious and requires a high measure of patience. I have to be grateful to the Lord that He has given me of His Spirit so I can constantly draw from this virtue. Shamefully, I haven’t been taken advantage of that which I hope will change.

Tomorrow will be another day where Matthew will be working all day. I want to prepare my mind for this. So, hopefully, I will wake up in the morning at around 5 AM and read my Bible.

Reading my Bible was so helpful to me this evening. I had truly been battling in my mind against many thoughts and my own desires. Something that really helped me was reading Romans 6, particularly the part where it says using our members as instruments unto righteousness:

“Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its lusts, and do not go on presenting the members of your body to sin as instruments of unrighteousness; but present yourselves to God as those alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭6:12-13‬ ‭NASB‬‬

After reading this, I kept repeating in my mind and out loud that I wanted to use my members as instruments of righteousness to God. Grace was asking me, as always, when she sees me doing something unusual, “Que haces mamá?” (Mom, what are you doing?”). I explained to her that I was thinking about a teaching from God on using our body parts to do good for God. She didn’t really understand and was telling me she didn’t want to do that. 😆

But anyway, yes I want to use my body part as instruments of righteousness to God. So I thought about the different body parts like my hands, my arms, my feet, my legs, my mouth, my eyes, my ears etc. & how could use each of these things to work good for God and others, whereas normally I’d use these things to fulfill my own selfish desires.

I pray that as I stay home with my girls tomorrow, I will be stronger mentally. I believe I can accomplish this by renewing my mind as it says in Romans 12:

“Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭12:1-2‬ ‭NASB‬‬

http://bible.com/100/rom.12.1-2.nasb

Matthew had actually reminded me that I am usually much better emotionally and mentally when I am reading my bible and meditating on what I’m reading there, as opposed to navigating the internet which is what I was doing yesterday. I was trying to figure out what was going on with me. At the moment, I didn’t believe him but as I’m writing this, it makes so much sense. I’ll just read and girt up the loins of my mind so I can take on my day.

In Jesus Name. Amen!

“Therefore, prepare your minds for action, keep sober in spirit, fix your hope completely on the grace to be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ.”

‭‭1 Peter‬ ‭1:13‬ ‭NASB‬‬

http://bible.com/100/1pe.1.13.nasb

Cabin Foolishness

How can I compile all that I have learned from what I observe in my children or how I have grown as a wife?

For example, last night, I could sense myself growing weary from being inside for so long. I haven’t been out with our daughters because it has been very cold. Usually, when I have been inside for so long I tend to get antsy and irritable towards my children and my husband. I don’t know if it is because of the lack of sun, or fresh air, or if I’m just being foolish in general. I’m sure it’s a mixture of all of those because I start to get angry at Matthew for not “working” hard enough to work things out so I can go out. That’s exactly what I was feeling last night.

It truly is foolish of me for even allowing myself to think that way because it is far from the truth. In fact, my husband has been working really hard. Recently, he started working again. (Praise God!) He had been earnestly looking for a job soon after experiencing relief from his Fibromyalgia. Finally, he found one at the McDonald’s right across the street from us. What a blessing! It’s been his first week there and he’s already had to do an overnight shift but he is completely grateful to the Lord for allowing him to feel strong again to work. & I am so thankful too!

But yea, last night I felt anger trying to creep up on me causing me to be bitter against my husband. It truly is crazy because as I sit down writing this; its 7 AM, it’s snowing, & my husband is at the store buying groceries for us after having gone to the gym earlier this morning. Just to give a little perspective, we don’t have a car so all our trips to the Walmart are by walking which we don’t mind but it does add a challenge. Thankfully, it is not as cold as it has been.

In general, he has been working really hard. He’s actually communicated to me to please be patient. His desire is to help us get back on our feet so that we can go out and enjoy being out together as a family. But first he wants to make sure everything is taken care of (financially and other things within the home). & the cold weather is not something that is in his control. So I want be patient and grateful. I know that he is working really hard to have everything in place so we can start enjoying life now that he has been basically healed. Many of our days, while his illness had been here at home so since he’s gotten better I’m so anxious to enjoy this new life. But again, I want to be patient. Lordwilling, that time will come.

A person who is dear to me, gently corrected me and reminded me that:

“The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands.”

‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭14:1‬ ‭NASB‬‬

Being angry at my husband because I haven’t been out is foolish. I want to be wise and build my home.

Imitation

1 Corinthians 11:1 “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”
My two year old daughter has been doing a lot of imitation. She’ll imitate our 6 month old baby by babbling, putting toys (or her fist) in her mouth, wanting to sit in my lap, or crawling around. When she does this, I tell her that I don’t like when she acts like Joy (our 6 month old, her sister). That I like when she is like Grace (our two year old daughter, herself). Then she will get back on her feet and returns to her normal self until moments later I find her being like Joy again. 
She has also been imitating me a lot. It’s really cute and funny. However, it holds me more accountable to model Christ’s behavior towards her. Some things I find her doing are, being really sweet to her sister like singing for her when she starts to cry, smothering her with kisses, or even telling Joy not to move in a commanding voice (I’m trying to teach Joy not to squirm while changing her diaper). 
The other night, my husband and I were talking in our bedroom while Joy and Grace were playing around us in the floor. I don’t remember exactly what happened but what I do recall is that Grace got really upset and yelled at her dad, “No preguntes tanto!” (“Stop asking so much!”) then ran out the room. It was the first time she had done something like that. Had it not been for her messy curly hair, widened eyes, and thin arms gesturing towards the air we could have held in our laughter and dealt with it differently. But our laughter allowed us to be lighter about it and call her back into the room. When she came back in the room we were still kind of amused by what had happened that she started to smile too. My husband talked to her for a little and she felt better again. 
However, it was convicting for myself because she was actually imitating something I had said to her a few times, “No preguntes tanto.” (Stop asking so much) Most of the times I had said this to her out of impatience. She has begun to ask questions throughout the day repeating the same question over and over (and over) until she gets a full response (uh huh and mm hm are not adequate responses). I suspected she was trying to learn how to speak and pronounce words better but other times I’d wonder whether she was just trying to be “bratty”. After a while (days) of her doing this, I began to feel very annoyed by her constant questions especially during stressful moments so sometimes I’d lash out and tell her not to ask me so many questions. She would usually get upset too because I wasn’t answering her. At the end of the day, while putting her to bed, I’d feel terrible. I’d pray and ask God to forgive me and have mercy on me. I asked Him that for her sake to give her a loving mother. 
I had asked on a Christian woman’s discussion board whether this recent behavior of hers was normal and sure enough they confirmed my suspicions. One woman said that she has heard the repetition is comforting to them. Which made sense to me because every time I’d repeat myself she would repeat the answer to herself and seem very pleased inside. Another woman pointed me to an article (https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/beginning-with-words/) that was extremely helpful to me in understanding and confirming to me in my situation. Indeed, my daughter was learning. Now, by the grace of God, I am a lot more patient and I delight in answering her questions.
Overall, that incidence has held me accountable to model Christ to her. I want to be able to say, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1). I want to take extreme advantage of how much behavior she absorbs simply by watching us. Yesterday, she was playing with her toy “smartphone” and “scrolling” through it with her pen. She kept telling me, “Estoy leyendo la Biblia mamá, es Jesus. (I’m reading the bible mom, it’s Jesus.)” When I finally understood what she said, I laughed and felt so grateful to the Lord for the testimony my daughter can show forth about me through her behavior. She also loves to follow me around the house and does whatever I’m doing whether I cook, wash dishes, nurse the baby. She’ll try to nurse her baby doll too. It’s interesting to see the things she picks up including my mannerism specifically the way I say things. 
I want to delight in following Christ and pick up on all his ways too. I pray that not only can I model these outward behaviors to her but inner virtues as well like, “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” Galatians 5:22-23. 
These past few days with her have been fun. I’m looking forward to many more, as the Lord wills.

A few other verses that I like to keep in mind are: 

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” 

This one encourages me to pursue those good things so that I can teach them to my daughters as they get older. 

1 Timothy 2:15 “But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.”

As I continue in faith, love, and self control I trust the Lord will keep me as I raise my children.

Expectation

As I was working out this morning, (I have been consistent with waking up early, working out which then motivates me to shower. My skin has been doing much better among other things. Praise God!) I was tempted to feel anxious about my 3 month old daughter waking up and not allowing me to finish my work out routine or get in the shower. As she was squirming around in her little chair, I thought: life isn’t about it going the way I expect it but about how well I deal with the unexpected. 

I’ve been learning to embrace “obstacles” with confidence knowing that my Heavenly Father will help me and give me wisdom on how to handle those “obstacles”. Now, instead of me growing anxious or frustrated when things don’t go my way, I look forward to these challenges to see how God will help me handle these situations. For now, it’s actually a little thrilling. 

She didn’t end up waking up and I was able to complete my workout. Now, let’s see if I can get in the shower. If not, I’m ready to handle it by the grace of God. 

The Importance of Getting Dressed

Two evenings ago, I learned a very important lesson. The hard way. I learned the importance of getting dressed & listening to the voice of my husband. This is something my husband often reminds me to do; to always get ready for my day and dress appropriately in case anyone comes by. 

Sure enough, that evening, I was sitting at the dinner table when we heard someone knocking on the door and I was still in my pajamas, not showered. Our visitors came and sat in but all I could think about was how inappropriate I was dressed. I realized how hard it made it for me to be hospitable because I was too distracted by my attire. 

I’ve often thought it was a vain thing to worry about my appearance. However, that day, I realized that it goes beyond myself. When I am dressed, I am ready (mentally and physically) for anyone and anything; my family, visitors, responsibilities etc. I have greater opportunities to glorify God and be a blessing to others. 

I hope that this lesson continues to motivate me every morning when I am getting ready for my day. The reality is that I am getting ready for the sake of others.