Disciple of Christ

People will know that we are disciples of Christ by the love we have for one another. 

This has held me accountable to love purely and sincerely especially with those whom I relate most intimately with such as my husband and children.

I find that it is most challenging for me to love them because they are the ones I relate to so closely, at all times. Therefore, there seems to be more opportunities for me to give way to a fleshly response (such as being rude, impatient, irritable etc). It shouldn’t be so.
I want those around me to know I am a disciple of Christ by the love I have for others. (Not just because I say it or post verses or write about biblical things)

Direction

I’ve had this blog for a few months now. & im not sure in which direction I would like it to go. I’m interested in many things that I’d like to write about and I’m conflicted because I think a blog should focus on one topic to make it easy for others to follow. Right? Or would it be okay to blog about all things I’m interested in even if it’s hard for readers to follow? I find many blogs are dedicated to a specific subject such as motherhood, literature, fashion, cooking, writing, Christian ministry etc. But rarely a mixture. 

Another thing that I’m conflicted about is that I’m not entirely educated on one specific subject so I don’t want to write about something as if I am an expert. In other words, I don’t want to teach. I’d like to share my thoughts but wouldn’t want it to be taken as fact. Perhaps just taken as a glimpse into my mind. I find that most blogs have something to focus on and in turn, others can learn from it. But I feel that I’m not at a point where I can teach, I think. I’m still learning as I go. 

I do have a desire to document and share things that I’ve come across that I find interesting. And perhaps that can spark thought in others if someone reads what I wrote. Or it could not. Mostly, I just want to document and share. I don’t want to feel restrained to write any further on my blog because of the pressures I feel about what a blog should be. I’m really inexperienced at this. But I’m sure I’ll learn as I go. And it could evolve into something else that I didn’t expect. 

For now, I think I’ll just share anything of interest that I come across in my life. 😊

Estudio (Pequeño) Basado en Romanos 8:3-6

Notas:

(Entre paréntesis notas o preguntas personales) 

V4. La justicia de Dios se cumple en nosotros cuando andamos en el Espíritu.

V3. Por esa razón Dios envió a su Hijo Jesus (en carne y condenó al pecado en la carne)

Qué significa andar en el Espíritu? 

Será basado en los frutos de el Espíritu, Galatas 5? 

 

“Mas el fruto del Espíritu es amor, gozo, paz, paciencia, benignidad, bondad, fe, mansedumbre, templanza; contra tales cosas no hay ley. Pero los que son de Cristo han crucificado la carne con sus pasiones y deseos. Si vivimos por el Espíritu, andemos también por el Espíritu.”

 

‭‭Gálatas‬ ‭5:22-25‬ ‭RVR1960‬‬

http://bible.com/149/gal.5.22-25.rvr1960

V5. Pensar en las cosas del Espíritu

V6. Ocuparse de las cosas del Espíritu= vida y paz

(Prácticamente como nos ocupamos de las cosas del Espíritu?

• Ocupar nuestra mente con las cosas del Espíritu; pensar en cosas como: “Como puedo bendecir a alguien? Como puedo perdonar a alguien?” 
• Buscar en llenarse con los frutos del Espíritu
• Buscar el reino de Dios y su justicia: “Mas buscad primeramente el reino de Dios y su justicia, y todas estas cosas os serán añadidas.” Mateo 6:33)

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My Experience with Make-up

I started wearing make-up at a very early age. I would say sometime around Junior High School. So when I entered High School, that’s the way people met me. I used very heavy liquid or pencil black eyeliner. I loved how it defined my eyes and made them look bolder. I’d also add a little tail at the end to give myself a “cat” look. I thought it made me look a lot prettier. 

I remember experimenting with different eyeshadow colors like light blue, pink, or different shimmers. Next, was the mascara that made my eyes pop out even more. I’d also cover the darker area around my eyes and use bronzer most of the time on my cheekbones. 

Every time I made my face, I felt confident, beautiful, and complete. But whenever the make-up came off, my eyes looked sleepy and dull. I seemed very pale and sick. I think the confidence would wipe away along with it.

Throughout my years in high school, I remember receiving comments about me looking like a raccoon, or the girl that wears lots of make-up. I also remember feeling self-conscious about going to the beach. What would I do about the water wiping away my eyeliner? So I’d bring my black pencil with me and not care if it smudged all around my eyes. As long as I had that dark look around my eyes and not the dull one. I couldn’t step outside my home without makeup on my eyes. It felt too bare. 

Although it made me feel really good when I’d get ready to go somewhere to wear a fresh application of make up on, especially after just showering and blow drying my hair, I always felt really weak that I depended so much on it. Without it,  I looked tired and that bothered me a lot. I felt very ugly without it. 

Sometime around college little by little I stopped wearing make-up. I thought it was a good time to stop wearing it because I’d get to meet new people that would meet me without make-up and it wouldn’t be as shocking to them to see my bare face. I still felt so bare but it comforted me to know that most of the people had no clue what I looked like with make-up. They probably didn’t even care. 

At one point, I said to myself, I don’t care to wear it anymore, if I get to meet someone (a love interest or friends) I want them to like me or know me for who I am. Soon after, I met my husband in college who doesn’t like make-up at all. At this point, I was only wearing it on special occasions, like New Years Eve or even on my wedding. 

Eventually, I got married, didn’t buy any new makeup for myself (most of it was my mom’s), and stopped wearing it all together. My husband was more attracted to me without it. It felt a lot better to let my face breathe from all the ink and color I’d apply to my face. It felt good to wash my face, sweat, or go through allergy season without worrying about my makeup running. 

In time, I would say my mind began to renew itself in how I viewed my bare face and my confidence began to grow along with it. Just thinking back to how I used to wear make-up feels heavy on my eyelids. I like the way I look now with my bare face. 😊 It’s also one less thing to spend time and money on. It also causes me to address the underlying issues that are causing my skin to look a certain way. 

I like that my husband can kiss me on the cheek or I can lay my head on his chest without me worrying about my make-up. I like that my 8 month old daughter can slobber all over my face without me worrying if she’ll lick any of it. I also look forward to see how my daughters can grow into confident young ladies without depending on make-up. 

To conclude, I hate the effects of wearing make-up, the way I did, had on my mind. Overall, it made me feel hideous. And I’m so thankful that I do not depend on it anymore. It feels so free. 

I wonder if anyone else has had that same experience. I often see woman apologize for their bare faces and it makes me sad that they feel they need to do that. I also notice that those woman do look different without the make-up. If they wouldn’t wear it as much as they did, perhaps there wouldn’t be such a drastic contrast. It makes me wonder about the psychology behind wearing make-up. 

I would love to know of other woman’s thoughts or experiences even if different from mine. 😊

Cares Upon Cares

I have a lot to be grateful for. In spite of wickedness that exists in this world and the suffering that has come to us because of it, the Lord has been faithful. He has not forsaken our family. 

I am thankful to the Lord for our beautiful home. I am thankful to the Lord for providing our daily bread. I am thankful to the Lord for giving me the physical ability to serve my family. I am thankful for the few articles of clothing I have. I am thankful for the fan that cools me down when it gets too hot in our home. 

At the moment, there are cares in my life that tempt me to grow weary in well doing. But I want to cast them all upon Him because He cares for me. Some of these cares are: my husband’s chronic illness, living in a new state without any family or friends, and my soon to be three year old’s intense energy and curiosity (this is a good thing but I am struggling with keeping up).

Within each of those cares, exists “subcares”; cares that branch out from the bigger cares. But, I will not get into those because if I do, I’m sure I can go on and on and end up with branches upon branches. It may overwhelm you too.

I want to remember that although I have cares (and cares upon cares), I also have a Lord who cares for me. He will sustain me to continue doing what is right. 

Some verses to meditate on: 

Psalm 55:22 “Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you; He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.”

1 Peter 5:7 “casting all your anxiety on Him, because He cares for you.”

1 Peter 4:19 “Therefore, those also who suffer according to the will of God shall entrust their souls to a faithful Creator in doing what is right.”

Galatians 6:9 “Let us not lose heart in doing good, for in due time we will reap if we do not grow weary.”

She Does Him Good

Proverbs 31:12 “She does him good and not evil All the days of her life.”

This is something I shared a few days ago on a Christian woman’s discussion board. It has truly blessed me and some of the woman appreciated it there. I thought it would be good to share through here as well:

“Good morning ladies, 
I just wanted to share something practical that has been a blessing to me and my husband. I’ve only been a wife for about 4 years. One of my biggest fears before getting married was, how am I going to take care of a home or cook?! I didn’t know how to do those things. But the Lord has been faithful in guiding me and giving me wisdom. 
One thing I’ve always had trouble coming up with is a perfect daily schedule. What I’ve been doing recently, is guiding my daily schedule around the thought of, “How can I do my husband good today?” So I prioritize my to do list with tasks that help him do what he needs to do. This has really been a blessing to me and especially to him. I often would forget about his plans, things he’d ask me to do 😬, important reminders, or even become a hinderance because I’d fill my day and even become distracted with my own plans on what I thought would help me be a good homemaker. 😓 This also has helped me to regard the things that help him (the things he likes or doesn’t like) when I am cleaning or organizing. And also to keep me from idleness. My two year old daughter seems to be more content too, perhaps she senses that my day has a little more order to it. 

I hope this helps someone like it has to me. If there’s any wisdom anyone can share in the area of keeping our homes, I’d be glad to hear. I look forward to continue learning. 😊”

Imitation

1 Corinthians 11:1 “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.”
My two year old daughter has been doing a lot of imitation. She’ll imitate our 6 month old baby by babbling, putting toys (or her fist) in her mouth, wanting to sit in my lap, or crawling around. When she does this, I tell her that I don’t like when she acts like Joy (our 6 month old, her sister). That I like when she is like Grace (our two year old daughter, herself). Then she will get back on her feet and returns to her normal self until moments later I find her being like Joy again. 
She has also been imitating me a lot. It’s really cute and funny. However, it holds me more accountable to model Christ’s behavior towards her. Some things I find her doing are, being really sweet to her sister like singing for her when she starts to cry, smothering her with kisses, or even telling Joy not to move in a commanding voice (I’m trying to teach Joy not to squirm while changing her diaper). 
The other night, my husband and I were talking in our bedroom while Joy and Grace were playing around us in the floor. I don’t remember exactly what happened but what I do recall is that Grace got really upset and yelled at her dad, “No preguntes tanto!” (“Stop asking so much!”) then ran out the room. It was the first time she had done something like that. Had it not been for her messy curly hair, widened eyes, and thin arms gesturing towards the air we could have held in our laughter and dealt with it differently. But our laughter allowed us to be lighter about it and call her back into the room. When she came back in the room we were still kind of amused by what had happened that she started to smile too. My husband talked to her for a little and she felt better again. 
However, it was convicting for myself because she was actually imitating something I had said to her a few times, “No preguntes tanto.” (Stop asking so much) Most of the times I had said this to her out of impatience. She has begun to ask questions throughout the day repeating the same question over and over (and over) until she gets a full response (uh huh and mm hm are not adequate responses). I suspected she was trying to learn how to speak and pronounce words better but other times I’d wonder whether she was just trying to be “bratty”. After a while (days) of her doing this, I began to feel very annoyed by her constant questions especially during stressful moments so sometimes I’d lash out and tell her not to ask me so many questions. She would usually get upset too because I wasn’t answering her. At the end of the day, while putting her to bed, I’d feel terrible. I’d pray and ask God to forgive me and have mercy on me. I asked Him that for her sake to give her a loving mother. 
I had asked on a Christian woman’s discussion board whether this recent behavior of hers was normal and sure enough they confirmed my suspicions. One woman said that she has heard the repetition is comforting to them. Which made sense to me because every time I’d repeat myself she would repeat the answer to herself and seem very pleased inside. Another woman pointed me to an article (https://nogreaterjoy.org/articles/beginning-with-words/) that was extremely helpful to me in understanding and confirming to me in my situation. Indeed, my daughter was learning. Now, by the grace of God, I am a lot more patient and I delight in answering her questions.
Overall, that incidence has held me accountable to model Christ to her. I want to be able to say, “Be imitators of me, just as I also am of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 11:1). I want to take extreme advantage of how much behavior she absorbs simply by watching us. Yesterday, she was playing with her toy “smartphone” and “scrolling” through it with her pen. She kept telling me, “Estoy leyendo la Biblia mamá, es Jesus. (I’m reading the bible mom, it’s Jesus.)” When I finally understood what she said, I laughed and felt so grateful to the Lord for the testimony my daughter can show forth about me through her behavior. She also loves to follow me around the house and does whatever I’m doing whether I cook, wash dishes, nurse the baby. She’ll try to nurse her baby doll too. It’s interesting to see the things she picks up including my mannerism specifically the way I say things. 
I want to delight in following Christ and pick up on all his ways too. I pray that not only can I model these outward behaviors to her but inner virtues as well like, “…love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control…” Galatians 5:22-23. 
These past few days with her have been fun. I’m looking forward to many more, as the Lord wills.

A few other verses that I like to keep in mind are: 

Titus 2:3-5 Older women likewise are to be reverent in their behavior, not malicious gossips nor enslaved to much wine, teaching what is good, so that they may encourage the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be sensible, pure, workers at home, kind, being subject to their own husbands, so that the word of God will not be dishonored.” 

This one encourages me to pursue those good things so that I can teach them to my daughters as they get older. 

1 Timothy 2:15 “But women will be preserved through the bearing of children if they continue in faith and love and sanctity with self-restraint.”

As I continue in faith, love, and self control I trust the Lord will keep me as I raise my children.

Expectation

As I was working out this morning, (I have been consistent with waking up early, working out which then motivates me to shower. My skin has been doing much better among other things. Praise God!) I was tempted to feel anxious about my 3 month old daughter waking up and not allowing me to finish my work out routine or get in the shower. As she was squirming around in her little chair, I thought: life isn’t about it going the way I expect it but about how well I deal with the unexpected. 

I’ve been learning to embrace “obstacles” with confidence knowing that my Heavenly Father will help me and give me wisdom on how to handle those “obstacles”. Now, instead of me growing anxious or frustrated when things don’t go my way, I look forward to these challenges to see how God will help me handle these situations. For now, it’s actually a little thrilling. 

She didn’t end up waking up and I was able to complete my workout. Now, let’s see if I can get in the shower. If not, I’m ready to handle it by the grace of God. 

My Vulnerable Mind

Yesterday I had a really rough day. There’s a lot of turmoil that goes on in my mind when I don’t do what I’m supposed to do to care for myself or my family. 

If you’ve read my post Hands, you’ll know that I was struggling during my pregnancy with a skin condition. During that time, I was under the impression that it was PUPPs. However, it turned out to be my eczema flaring up. It is something that I am still struggling with today and thankfully it’s gotten better since I delivered the baby but oh, is it still discomforting. 

I’ve been on a long journey trying to find relief and I have, on some days. Especially when I do the things that help me feel good, like waking up early to shower, moisturizing, not eating certain foods, keeping myself occupied with my duties, meditating on Scripture and sleeping. But on some days, like yesterday, I fail to do one thing and then it goes downhill from there. 

It had been about 2-3 days already that I hadn’t showered. My skin was inflamed, dry, flaky, and sore with cuts from scratching. I had no intention to shower either because of the pain I’d feel. But deep down inside I knew that showering would help me feel better, mentally and physically. Even if it is discomforting for a few minutes, the pain I feel for a few minutes does not compare to the sorrow and anger that boils up in me from such physical affliction. 

I was sulking all day, yesterday. In that state, I cannot enjoy my 2-year old daughter. She requires so much patience from me, especially during this moment in her life as she’s learning and developing as a person. But when I am not well, I don’t have the patience or mind to lovingly discipline or joyfully meet her needs. My responses towards her are full of anger, bitterness, and impatience. Same goes for my behavior towards my husband. Physically, I can’t even smile at him because my face is so stiff and I can’t even look up to kiss him because my neck has cuts that hurt when I stretch my skin. I also lash out in anger towards him. It really is a dark place in my mind for me to be in and I bring my family down with me. 

Eventually, my husband went to the store bought my some antibiotic cream and prepared an ointment for me that helps calm my inflammation. He helped me in the shower, although I was resisting and crying. As I was showering, I felt so much anger and I kept wishing death upon myself. (It really isn’t physically that bad but when my mind is already weak it’s hard to think stably). 

The Lord in His mercy has provided me with the wisdom on what I can do to manage my eczema the best I can, at least for now. I really am hoping to find more relief. But for now, when I do what I know helps me, I do feel good and I can go about my day normally. It’s still quite challenging but my mind and spirit are able to bare it. It really is foolish of me to not do the things that I know help me feel good. I lack consistency and discipline. I have to remember that doing these things such as showering, moisturizing, eating right, etc all help me and ultimately help my family. I’m also hoping to start exercising to help my mood and perhaps getting outside more for fresh air. I also hope to drink water whenever I’m craving foods that affect me. I’ve been munching on spinach as opposed to cookies (which seem to be terrible for me).  I hope that I can be selfless in those moments when all I want to do is the opposite of what is good for my skin, knowing that whatever I do to care for myself is really so I can be well enough, mentally and physically, to care and love my husband and daughters. 

Today, I am up and about, working and loving my family. My mind is also stronger. I don’t know what tomorrow will be like. But at this moment, I will take it one step at a time. 

How do you mothers cope on days when your mind is vulnerable? 

Laying My Hands To The Spindle

One thought I have been meditating on recently is, “laying my hands to the spindle.” When I am confronted with something challenging, whether is has to do with keeping the home or dealing with my daughters, I get choked up and avoid dealing with it. Mostly because I don’t know how to do it; it’s something new to me. So, I just avoid the task at hand altogether. 

But recently, I’ve been thinking that the only way I can learn to do something is by laying my hands to the work in front of me. If it doesn’t work out the way I would want it to, I can take note of what I can do different next time. Either way, it is progress. As opposed to avoiding it and nothing getting done. 

I also want to trust that God will give me the wisdom as I go. I remember when I got married I didn’t know how to cook. The only way I learned was by stretching forth my hand in the kitchen in faith trusting that God would give me ideas and He did (even though I embarrassed myself at times and made many mistakes). Today, by the grace of God, I can confidently cook meals fit for our family with ease. 

I want to have that same trust in the Lord for other areas of my life. For example, I don’t know how to go about cleaning the bathroom. I’ve been putting it off but instead of me doing that, I can go in faith and just put my hands to it. I just need to start; trusting that God will guide me as I go and not feel bad if it’s not as efficient as I’d like. In all reality, I’ll have plenty of more opportunities to clean the bathroom and find something that works for me. Years from now, as I habitually clean it, I will be an expert at it, Lordwilling. But that will never happen if I just keep avoiding it. 

I pray that as I learn, these challenges may become a delight, just as cooking and washing dishes have become a delight. When I don’t know how to do something, I seem to despise it. But I have to keep in mind His testimonies in my life and that He has never failed to give me wisdom, to know how to do something, when I’ve asked for it. So now, when I am confronted with something difficult, I walk in faith and just, “lay my hands to the spindle.”

A few more verses I have been meditating on:

Proverbs 31:13 “…worketh willingly with her hands.”

James 1:5-7 “If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally, and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him. But let him ask in faith, nothing wavering. For he that wavereth is like a wave of the sea driven with the wind and tossed. For let not that man think that he shall receive any thing of the Lord.”

Proverbs 13:4 “The soul of the sluggard desireth, and hath nothing: but the soul of the diligent shall be made fat.” (For example, desiring a clean home but doing nothing to get there)